There is a phrase that is used ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’. On one level this is true but on another it is not.

The power of our words have the ability to build someone up or pull them down. Even when we speak about ourselves, for instance when we say ‘I cannot do that’ or ‘I am hopeless at this’. Speaking negatively about ourselves and/or others is not helpful.

I have found over the last few months, especially during the pandemic, that some people think it is ok to put others down via online communications like Facebook, Twitter, or other forums. Just because they cannot see them, does not make it right. Negative language promotes negative action. Each of us has the ability to uplift someone or to destroy them. Unfortunately, seeing some of our politicians carry on, you would think that it does not matter what you say.

When someone speaks positively about you, it can act as an encouragement and spur you on, for instance - ‘well done’, ‘you did a good job’, or ‘you look nice today’. Whereas negative words can have a negative effect which can cause low self-esteem and low self-worth. Did you know that it takes five positive comments to combat the effect of one negative comment.

When we face a challenge, we can either see it as a problem or as an opportunity and our words can influence how we approach the challenge. The famous French Philosopher Rene Descartes is quoted as saying ‘I think, therefore I am’. So, if we speak positively, it promotes positive outcomes.

In the book of James, from the bible, it uses a number of different illustrations to demonstrate the power of the tongue. One of its illustrations is that of a rudder of a large boat in comparison to the size of the boat. The rudder is small and yet it enables the skipper to pilot the vessel where he wishes. Our tongues are small and can make great boasts which can lead to disaster.

The bible also talks about encouraging one another because when we do, we see people grow and their outlook can change from being negative to being positive. When we change our words, we have the potential to change a world. So instead of criticising others for their mistakes, let us look for the positives. We all make mistakes, and we all get it wrong at times and it is easy to look from the side-lines and be critical.

I would love to encourage each of us to pause before we speak and use language that builds people up. Even saying thank you can be a form of encouragement. Why don’t you try it and see what happens?